Baseball on the radio

Ron Kern

Mother’s Day has passed. Hope all of you mother’s out there had time to spend with your children and family; and I hope they pampered you for the day in return for the countless times you’ve pampered them. Who knows; maybe they even did the laundry by themselves!

I was listening to the baseball game the other night on the old AM/FM radio. It got me reflecting back on the old days. You know the old days when you were young. Seems kinda ironic doesn’t it?

I remember as a kid sitting out on the patio listening to the baseball game with my Dad enjoying a pop while he puffed on his Camel unfiltered. We had finished off another great meal prepared by Mom and Dad had finished another hard day’s work on the farm. Me, I just finished a day at school, polished off homework and felt like sitting around with Pop.

As I hit my teenage years I used to take a Sunday drive in the country, windows down, winding country roads, radio banging out tunes and not a care in the world. Radio was a nice diversion.

However most of my radio listening time was spent on a tractor. Not just any tractor mind you. It was Pop’s old 830 model Case, narrow front-end and no cab. Box radio mounted on the fender. It was the first tractor I learned to drive at 12 years old, and it still sits in the barn back home.

You see I was the designated cultivator as Dad grew older. I got to cultivate the corn once and the beans twice each summer. Right hand up on the fender so you could see the row guide, eating dust for breakfast, lunch and dinner with the radio dialed into WMAY, one of the local Springfield radio stations.

Mostly a few tunes rolling out, news on the hour and if I got lucky an afternoon St Louis Cardinals game. The reception on that old box radio wasn’t the best, but with the antennae up it wasn’t quite as scratchy. Sometimes it was a little difficult to hear over the hum of the tractor engine, but you got used to tuning out the hum and focusing on the radio.

The older I grew the less I listened. Seems like driving in quiet solitude is more my cup of tea these days. My only radio now is a baseball game when the reception is good.

Never was a big news radio fan and most of today’s music I can’t understand the lyrics, so why bother being bothered.

But for all you folks who still like having the squawk box in the background I’ll share with you the top country songs of all time (tongue in cheek):

Get your tongue outta my mouth ‘cause I’m kissin’ you goodbye

I don’t know whether to pinch myself or go bowling

If I can’t be number one in your life then number two on you

I sold a car to a guy who stole my girlfriend, but it don’t run so we’re even

Mama get a hammer there’s a fly on papa’s head

If the phone don’t ring you know it’s me

She’s actin’ single and I’m drinkin’ doubles

How can I miss you if you won’t go away

I keep forgettin’ I forgot about you

I still miss you, but my aim’s getting’ better

I wouldn’t take her to a dog fight ‘cause I’m afraid she’d win

I’m so miserable without you, it’s like having you here

If I’d have shot you when I wanted to I’d be outta jail by now

My head hurts, my feet stink and I don’t love you

My wife ran off with my best friend, I sure do miss him

Please bypass this heart

You done tore out my heart and stomped it flat

You’re the reason our kids are so ugly

Her teeth was stained, but her heart was pure

She’s looking better after every drink

I’d say thank you but I don’t know what you’ve done

Power tools and drinkin’ keep me from thumbin’ through the pages

Think I’ll just go listen to a ball game.

“May your life one day be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.” -Anonymous

Ron Kern is the manager of the Ogle County Farm Bureau.