Humor columnist shares wisdom with graduates.
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To the Class of 2018, faculty members, parents, dignitaries, mis-informed wedding crashers, and Visa/MasterCard representatives who have gathered here today:
I am honored to have the opportunity to address this group of graduating seniors and impart the wisdom I have gained since my own graduation from high school nearly 150 years ago.
Standing before you today, I see the anticipation on your faces as each of you comes to realize what sharing my wisdom with you means: Possibly the shortest commencement speech in school history.
Before long, you will step forward and receive the culmination of 12 – possibly 14 – years of education. You will shake hands with some of those who have helped guide you to this milestone. And unless your last name begins with a “Z,” you will return to your seat as the rest your classmates step forward to receive their diplomas. That’s when you will silently think to yourself, “I really shouldn’t have had that second bottle of Mountain Dew.”
But you will sit quietly, probably cross-legged, and deal with it. You are now officially your own person – making your own decisions, embracing the rewards and accepting the consequences of those decisions – as you embark on a journey of independence in a world of your own making.
At least until laundry day, when you will return home to eat chocolate chip cookies while mom gets the Cheeto and pizza stains out of your favorite underwear.
That’s because having wisdom isn’t about knowing everything. It’s also about recognizing and acknowledging when you don’t. Just like getting those stains out, it’s OK to admit when you don’t know how to do something or handle a tough situation in life. A smart person takes ownership of the things they know; I wise person seeks the knowledge of others when they don’t.