ROCHELLE — Whenever she speaks publicly, Ruth Carter makes a point to tell survivors of domestic abuse that they’re not alone. Even when she doesn’t know whether or not there’s someone within earshot of her voice that needs to hear it. 

“I always take the opportunity to tell people,” Carter said. “That many people are impacted by domestic abuse. That it is not your fault. That you're never the cause of someone else's abusive behavior. That's a message we need to keep on repeating. It's not a relationship problem. It's an issue of the person who wants power and control of the relationship.”

Carter serves as HOPE of Ogle County’s executive director and will be retiring this year. She’s been with the non-profit organization that helps survivors of domestic abuse since 1991. She started as a counselor before becoming executive director in 2009. 

HOPE of Ogle County provides safety planning, support, shelter and referrals while empowering survivors to build a safe and peaceful future. It offers counseling, assistance and resources to those who are contending with the effects of abusive relationships. The nonprofit is available 24/7 to listen and provide support and court advocacy services are available as well. HOPE has offices in Rochelle, Oregon and Polo.

In her time at the organization, HOPE has grown in size and saw the addition of HOPE Chest, a thrift store which benefits the nonprofit and helped it through the state funding crisis, COVID-19, and the recent federal VOCA funding crisis it’s faced. Carter said the HOPE Chest funds allowed the organization to keep up services and staffing to help survivors. 

In 2011, HOPE renovated a vacant home it owned next door that’s been utilized since for transitional housing for survivors, one family at a time. There, a family staying at HOPE’s shelter has additional time to get back on its feet. Carter has also been a part of HOPE’s membership as a benefiting nonprofit of From the Heart, which raises money each year through a gala and cash calendar sales to donate to area nonprofits. That partnership has yielded thousands of dollars and exposure for HOPE, Carter said, 

“That opened doors to the community that we didn't have before to tell people about what we do,” Carter said. “It's been huge for HOPE to work with all the other nonprofits. In this position, there's a lot of administrative work like reports and grant writing and making sure the funds come in and that we're up to code with all of our funders and audits and everything else. Administrative work takes a big chunk of time. There's the public awareness piece of it with getting out in the community and being part of organizations like From the Heart.”

Carter volunteered at Sage Passage, DeKalb County’s domestic violence and sexual assault crisis agency, when she was in college getting her social service degree. She spent time answering calls on a hotline. That was her first real awareness about what domestic abuse was, and it opened her eyes. She started at HOPE after college. 

Carter had a passion for social service in college, but her real passion came when she started hearing stories from survivors and providing counseling and realizing the importance of the work. 

“I enjoyed seeing the progress that the survivors would make over time,” Carter said. “I was privileged to hear their stories and that they felt safe sharing them. When you're in that role and you hear those stories, it's a responsibility when somebody shares such intimate details about their relationship. And it's also a knowledge that I don't think a lot of other social service communities get. Because when you hear the stories on a regular basis, your instinct about safety becomes higher. It becomes innate after a while, kind of seeing what a person might need to hear and help them through.”

Carter stressed the importance of believing survivors when they speak and listening to what they have to say without doubt. Many survivors are told they won’t be believed, are sometimes not believed, and the subject is difficult to talk about, she said. The environment at HOPE allows survivors to have a safe, neutral place to share their stories comfortably and confidentially. 

The work at HOPE was “a privilege” for Carter, and she believes the help survivors get is a product of HOPE’s entire staff and system. 

Working in the domestic violence field helping survivors and hearing their stories can take a toll, Carter said. 

“The work weighs on anybody who works in the field,” Carter said. “Just like law enforcement and EMS. What's important is figuring out how to do self care. That's one of the things that we work on with our staff here. When I switched from counseling to this position I realized how overwhelmed I really was.”

One of Carter’s most memorable experiences on the job involved a nine-week self defense class that was offered for HOPE’s clients that tailored to women and sexual assault. She saw them learn how to fight back and support each other. Participants were videotaped and got to witness their own growth. Months later, one of the participants shared she used the skills to defend herself from an abuser. 

Another memorable experience for Carter was working with immigrant survivors of domestic violence.

“We’ve worked with people who came to this country under the guise of a relationship with a person that wasn't good to them and used their immigration status against them so they felt like they had no options,” Carter said. “We were able to see a couple of our survivors get through that and eventually get their work status and citizenship after the years of work it takes. We've had a couple of really strong survivors navigate that. I look back in awe at that, because I can't imagine going through that. I think they're the strongest people you'll ever meet.”

HOPE of Ogle County “still had a grassroots” feel when Carter started in 1991. She’s seen it grow from a very small staff to now a staff of 19 with more education, training and opportunities available to them. She’s seen the community get to know HOPE and embrace it more. 

“To be able to have our information out there and being in the public more has helped people to appreciate the work we do and send survivors our way,” Carter said. “It's always tough to leave something you love. That's part of change. I will miss the camaraderie in the domestic violence field. It's unique. I've enjoyed meeting people and learning from them along the way.”