ROCHELLE — St. Paul Lutheran Church located at 1415 10th Ave., Rochelle, will offering a Blue Christmas program on Saturday, Dec. 21 at 3 p.m. It is being held on the day which historically is longest night of the year.   Please feel free to attend.  It will be a quiet, musical and prayerful program.

The event is aimed at people dealing with grief amid the holidays. The church also provided information on managing grief.

“Somehow, (during the holidays) persons feel pushed into hiding, covering over, or denying the reality of sadness, fear and tension…Perhaps what is needed most is simply a more honest embracing of ourselves, others, and the realities of life.”  -Dr. Wayne A. Van Kampen

The following are a few points to consider when navigating a path to respond to the holiday season.

Believe it’s okay to not “be of good cheer.”  Try not to berate yourself if feeling down or not being part of the general merriment.  This may help not to put added stress on yourself.  Feel the pain.  Reach out to others who share the pain.

Let go of unrealistic expectations for a celebration that’s Christmas-card perfect.   One does not have to fulfill others’ expectations for Christmas New Years celebrations. It is okay to scale back on decorating, sending out cards, baking or visiting.  It is more important to ask yourself what do I feel like doing?  Can I skip it this year?  Why or why not? Can someone doit for me?  Or help me get it done?  If I feel a need to do it, why do I need to do it?  Can anything make a task or obligation easier?

Focus on activities and gatherings that are meaningful to you.  Seek a deeper reason for the season.  Find comfort and joy by connecting with others at a level or frequency that is agreeable to you.  Take care of yourself by centering yourself and avoiding unhealthy behaviors.   Share the pain, memorial the loss.

Take a little holiday from holidays.  Remember that is okay to change or skip some traditions.  It is okay to create new traditions too.

Plan ahead or maybe plan to not plan ahead.   Your approach will allow you to either carefully plan for the day or allow the day to flow on its own.  Look at Christmas in a thoughtful solitude remembering time.

Set time for you to reflect on memories, music and prayer. Let the meaning of Christmas resonate.  Let love guide you and let yourself be as a child. learning and exploring the world.

Your loss has meaning.  The first year or any year which follows a death of a loved one leaves a hole.   “Tears can be a gentle and loving way of ministering to yourself. Tears should be honored as tender drops of remembrance.”  -Lon Nungesser